"You are the result of your thoughts," Michael Pilarczyk's voice rings in my ear during a guided meditation. So, that is confronting! From my own experience, I know how beliefs and thoughts determine my inner peace. And for the choices I do or do not make. In my practice, I also see this in the people I coach. In this article, an example.
She was young, and the few years she had worked after college mainly had been stressful for her. She struggled to cope with the workload and felt insecure about certain things. Working on the team was not going the way she would have liked. After being homesick for a while, she was regaining hours. Meanwhile, her 2nd year of illness had started, and she came to me for a reintegration program 2nd track. Her temporary contract was about to expire, and her employer saw no possibilities for her within the organization. She was young, and the few years she had worked after college mainly had been stressful for her. She struggled to cope with the workload and felt insecure about certain things. Working on the team was not going the way she would have liked. After being homesick for a while, she was regaining hours. Meanwhile, her 2nd year of illness had started and she came to me for a reintegration program 2nd track. Her temporary contract was about to expire and her employer saw no possibilities for her within the organization.
"What now?" "How next? These questions kept her busy and sometimes even awake. We had 6 months to answer those questions and find other work with another employer. "Time enough, it will work out," I thought. For her -let's continue calling her Myrthe-. that deadline seemed far too short, and it was almost paralyzing.
There were a few things Myrthe did not question. Things she knew for sure, of which she was convinced. To name a few:
Whatever work she was going to do had better not be directly with customers. That was not for her.
She struggled with teamwork and was annoyed by certain behaviors of people. A solo position would at least solve that problem. Furthermore, she had been trying to master presentation. She blamed herself that she had not succeeded and she had not met this learning objective in the time allotted.
The coretalents analysis we started the reintegration process with gave her insight into who she naturally is and wants to be + her potential + what she does from intrinsic motivation.
A striking result: a very strong empathy/intuitive empathy with a value of "100.
This means that Myrthe naturally wants to put herself in the other person's feeling, perception, culture, etc. and then puts her own feeling, perception, etc. aside for a moment. The value '100' indicates that she wants to use this coretalent to the maximum. I sometimes say a coretalent with this value is never off. Caring and helping others is less obvious to her and costs her energy. Myrthe wants to do good to others, especially on a mental level.
This outcome intrigued me. What made Myrthe so convinced that customer contact was not for her?
When I asked her about this, she replied that it had not gone so well a couple of times and that her supervisor had decided that it was better for her not to handle any more customer inquiries. Myrthe had concluded from this that this did not suit her and had become convinced that it was better to avoid customer contact.
Furthermore, it turned out that Myrthe is a very social person by nature and needs to cooperate with others. She also enjoys socializing. In short, Myrthe needs people around her and wants to be physically active with others. At the same time, she needs a lot of space for herself and wants to be self-directed. So just a matter of finding the right balance between teamwork and independent work. This was the 2nd eye-opener for her.
As for presenting, it could be determined that that is something Myrthe will never be happy about. By nature, she has no desire to tell others what she knows and transfer knowledge. She is happy to leave that to someone else. Let's just say she put forward "presentation" as a personal learning objective on her team. Not surprisingly, it took her effort to get started on this and achieve this learning objective within the set deadline. Perhaps you can learn anything, but it is much more difficult if it is something that does not naturally suit you.
Just goes to show how certain beliefs or thoughts you take for granted can remove you from who you really are. Please cite Kirsten Nelis (stress management and burn out specialist):
"A belief or a thought is an opinion you see as truth. Because you see them as truth, they determine practically everything in your life, such as how you see yourself and others, how you deal with change, and how you feel. Your beliefs and thoughts determine your inner peace and affect your personality. Because who you think you are is the result of your beliefs. Not of reality."
After about 4 months and only 1 application, Myrthe found a suitable position in a nice team. Her work includes solving ICT problems for users. This requires empathizing with the user's needs, wishes and situation. And in that problem solving she can also use her strong creative coretalents.
